Love Prompts Me to Preach
Yep, that’s me doing what I do: preaching.
It was electric and it was terrifying. And I trust, you know what I mean. That wholly and holy terror and joy that prompts us to preach it.
My prompt that day (actually it was night) was a wedding. Not just any wedding but the marriage of a close friend and colleague, Steve. He is a kick-ass priest who is also a deep thinker and excellent writer (with not one, but two, op-ed’s published in the New York Times). Most importantly he’s one of my closest friends, someone I’ve been grateful to love because I can tell him things like how much all his genius pisses me off. In a good way of course. Ok, that’s enough about Steve!
Anyway, it was his wedding. And it was the first wedding I was preaching six months after my separation as I was making my way to divorce. You might not be surprised to know that year, I HATED doing weddings. Which is obviously why there were more than the usual amount on my calendar.
First, when my then-husband and I were “pretending” and 3 months away from his moving out, parishioners from my previous church came up for me to do their wedding.
After separation was official and public, three more couples wanted to be married at my church. Statistically that is far above our annual average. It felt like a conspiracy. Gamely, I officiated but, drew the line at preaching. Because I didn’t have anything good to say except, “Marriage is actually a contract which you will learn about when you divorce!” Thankfully, they all found someone else.
A rubric my friends that was some serious self-compassion. Knowing I needed to take care of myself and my heart. If you have been married for 20 years and are plodding hourly through the reality of divorce, grief and frankly, death - the last thing you can do, honestly, is preach good news at someone else’s wedding.
But this was Steve (and Jesse!) and that was different. When he asked, he included a generous “you really don’t have to say yes if it’s too much” caveat. I said yes, immediately.
We preachers know, that invitation from a close friend is an HONOR! So yes, there was that. And there needed to be a limit on my self-compassion sabbatical. All sabbaticals have limits. We all have to get back into our professional proverbial saddles again, eventually. What better way to start than preaching for a friend I loved surrounded by good friends who were loving me.
What is it that prompts us to preach? Love, dammit! It’s love. Love of God. Love of people. Love of our profession, our calling. Love of being given the privilege of a pulpit and attention of others who so generously listen to the words written on our hearts.
We know that if we speak in the tongue of mortals or of angels but do not have love we are a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal! Or, we don’t know and for varied reasons, primarily a lack of self-care and attention we intone self-involved diatribes or boring lectures. Preaching is different. It breaks open hearts. Strong preaching opens the eyes of the heart. Vibrant preaching connects people to each other and resonates in the holy depth of our being.
And wanting to try for “that” is why I said ‘yes’ to Steve and ‘no’ to shame, despite profound doubt in my ability. Shame was what underscored my wedding-fury. But, Love prompted me to try. Which was also a step in my own healing, that I knew I needed. And as I worked on my words I couldn’t wait for that evening to come.
It did and it was glorious. And not because of me (the preacher is always but a part) Steve’s church is gorgeous and intimate. Steve and Jesse crafted a gorgeous and liturgically brilliant wedding. Love and excitement flowed from all the people there. And you know that that, the “space” creatively and organically made through all of these alive and moving parts is also what prompts good preaching.
I don’t remember what I said, but I remember what I felt. Which is why I am so grateful for the picture. Preachers need to embody what we hope our words impart. We believe in incarnation! Our words prompt people! To do, see, think, remember, grieve, forgive, etc. etc. something in their own life and relationship with God and with others.
Love is my prompt, every time I preach. It’s the one sermon I feel I preach again and again. Even though you and I know they are all different. In this new space I want to prompt myself and prompt you in your preaching! To share my stories and others to connect with people wholly invested in this holy calling. Because we believe that the words of our lips and the meditations of all our hearts are always acceptable in the sight of Love, our Rock and our Redeemer. Let’s go preach!
